Thursday, May 6, 2010

ugh i'm stressed out

I'm sick, I'm tired, it's that time of the month, I'm sad, it's just everything. UGH. I try to be a pretty positive person but last night and today were really hard for me. Last night I decided to weigh in a day early and then go out (lost .4lbs). I ended up having a great night until I went out with one of my guy friends to a restaurant/bar to see other friends (one happens to be the ex). Well that should have gone well but no, he was drunk and ridiculous. My friend wanted to give him a ride home so we all had to get in the same car together where he belittled me the entire way home, swearing at me and calling me names. I snapped, I'm not releasing the gory details but I lost my mind. After when I finally got home I got a million harassing phone calls with him trying to locate the other friend saying we were together and sleeping together. It was all too much, I binged on an entire box of Cheerios and some Doritos.

So that brings us to today, the day of regret. I can't control what he chooses to do or act like but I'm so upset with the way that I allowed him to get under my skin and turn me into a person that I am not. I'm disgusted with myself and so disappointed. I didn't make it through the day at work, I luckily (yeah right) am actually sick so I had to go to the doctors but I left 3 hours before the actual appointment.

I did go to the gym and really worked it since working out felt fantastic. I did 35 minutes on the elliptical and then 30 minutes running (the entire time). I have to say it felt great to run. My iPod was cranked with rock music and running was just I don't easier then usual.

I've got a few calls/text from the ex today and spoke with him once. He said he was sorry and wanted me to forgive him. I just think it's best to not speak with him. I've said this so many times and I have never followed through with it. But I just HATE the person that he can turn me into. I do not want to be like that and I will not be like that.


  1. Well... it's over. Isn't nice that tonight isn't gonna be last night. It's a new day and you're becommming a new person. Nothing ever happens overnight and we all go through these nightmares.

    But in the end you had a great day with that killer workout and will have a better night so you're doing great. You just don't know it yet. (I'll take my words back if you talk to him again though!)

  2. Don't let that guy get to you! You're so much better than that!!! He is obviously not good for you.

    Skinny, get out there and meet some new, worthwhile men! All the confidence that you get from your workouts and the success you've had with losing the weight, that's what will attract guys! A confident woman intrigues them! Get out there and show 'em what you've got!